Music royalty Jay-Z and Beyonce have tied the knot. The couple were wed yesterday in front of a their closest family and friends. The couple had orginally planned to wed in Cyprus but at the last minute decided to have a more simple wedding in Hammond, LA It was the most elegant ceremony ever to happen in a Taco Bell parking lot. Mama Tina made a beatiful wedding dress out of Pelican feathers, it was trimmed with Chimpanzee fur, and studded with Pink rhinestones. Since Beyonce was in labor as she was walking down the aisle it was decided that she should wear a Pearl dress instead of a white one. Jay-Z's groomsmen were Weezy F. Baby, Ginuwine, and the dude who played Urkel Beyonce's bridemaids were Chante Moore, LaTavia Roberson, and Mc Lyte, and of course her Maid of Honor was her cousin Angie who decided to wear Black lipstick since it was a special occasion. The bridesmaids wore catsuits made out of Lycra with matching capes. The groomsmen wore Tangerine shortsets with matching sandals. The wedding reception was wonderful. The wedding reception was held at Double T Diner. Matthew rented out the entire place so the familes could have privacy. Kelly was in charge of parking cars and LeToya Luckett just so happened to be working the cash register so Beyonce's wedding reception was like a mini-Destiny's Child reunion. When it was time for the bride and groom to have the first dance as man and wife it was a very romantic moment. The lights were dimmed, Jay pulled Beyonce close and the DJ played "\"Pu$$y\" by Spank Rock". It was beautiful. There wasn't a dry eye in the place. Baby Daniel almost missed the wedding since he was locked up for assault with a Machete but the charges were dismissed when the witnesses did not show up to court. Since this was a Knowles affair, you know the girls had to do something strange for a little piece of change. Solange sold copies of Miss Kelly Diva Deluxe out of the trunk of her her 198 3 Toyota. Kelly and Michelle sold DVDs of the wedding 20 minutes after the wedding was over. The DVD includes special bonus footage of the wedding and 5 unreleased Beyonce and Jay-Z tracks. The ceremony was almost ruined when Mama Tina and Jay's mother, got into a fistfight. Mama Tina said that when Beyonce was walking down the aisle Jay's mom rolled her eyes and called Beyonce a "Cuntrag". Mama Tina hates when people pop off at the mouth about her firstborn so when the wedding was over she confronted the Jay's mother and pulled a Brass Knuckles out of her Chameleon-skin purse. Then she asked Farrah Franklin to hold her wig while she whooped her ass.
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